Today's quotes [4.14.08]

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I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't. So I grew hair
   under my arms instead.
         Sue Kolinsky

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be
   caught dead in otherwise.
         Roger Simon

A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in
   business.
         Shelley Berman

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow
   you'll be afraid to cough.
         Pearl Williams

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
         Dave Edison

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