Today's quotes [4.10.08]

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Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
         Red Buttons

I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in
   California, but it's one more letter she'd have to remember.
         Sheckly Greene

"More than 25,000 dedicated gun lovers from across Northern Idaho flocked to
 the Coeur d'Alene Convention Center for the two-day event, happily
 sublimating homosexual impulses amid a carefully maintained facade of
 platonic camaraderie."

-- "Homoerotic Overtones Enliven NRA Meeting"
from The Onion, http://www.theonion.com

"Life gets boring, someone invents another necessity, and once again we
 turn the crank on the screwjack of progress hoping that nobody gets
 screwed."

-- Larry Wall

"The Harvard Law states:  Under controlled conditions of light, temperature,
 humidity, and nutrition, the organism will do as it damn well pleases."

-- Larry Wall

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