Today's poems [4.28.08]

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Said an old taxidermist in Burrell, 
               As he skillfully mounted a squirrel, 
                    "This excess of tail is 
                    Obstructive to phallus; 
               One's much better off with a girl." 

No matter how grouchy you're feeling,
You'll find the smile more or less healing.
It grows in a wreath
All around the front teeth -
Thus preserving the face from congealing.

There was a gay dog from Ontario 
            Who fancied himself a Lothario. 
                At a wench's glance 
                He'd snatch off his pants 
            And make for her Mons Venerio. 

            A nudist resort at Benares 
            Took a midget in all unawares. 
                But he made members weep 
                For he just couldn't keep 
            His nose out of private affairs. 

When Asimov penned long ago
The Three Laws that all robots know,
Had Star Wars shown then,
The Fourth would have been:
"A robot must not steal the show." 

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