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Ode to Alcohol Starkle, starkle, little twink, Who the hell you are I think, I'm not under what they call The alcofluence of incohol. I'm not drunk as thinkle peep, I'm just a little slort of sheep. Tee martoonis make a guy Fool so feelish, don't know why Rally don't know who's me yet The drunker I stay the longer I get So just one more to full my cup, I've all day sober to Sunday up.
A vice both obscene and unsavory Holds the Mayor of Southhampton in slavery. With bloodcurdling howls He deflowers young owls Which he keeps in an underground aviary.
Mary had a little sheep, And with the sheep she went to sleep, The sheep turned out to be a ram, Now Mary has a little lamb.
There was an old spinster of Tyre Who bellowed, "MY CUNT IS ON FIRE!" So a fireman was found, Brought his engine around And extinguished her burning desire
There was a young fellow named Lancelot Whom his neighbors all looked on askance a lot. Whenever he'd pass A presentable lass, The front of his pants would advance a lot.
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