Today's jokes [4.6.08]

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While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand
new tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belong
to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.

Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing,
waiting for the lights to change.

A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts.
"What's that?" she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.

"Tennis ball," came the breathless reply.

"Oh," said the girl sympathetically, "that must be painful. I
had tennis elbow once."

What do you get if you cross your missus with a pit bull?

Your very last headjob.

What would you call an Amish guy with his arm up a horse's ass?

A Mechanic.

A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving
that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.
"I was only going 40!" the driver protested.
"Not according to my radar," the trooper said.
"Yes, I was!" the man shouted back.
"No you weren't!" the trooper said.
With that, the man's wife leaned toward the window and said,
'Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when
he's been drinking." 

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man 
speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the 
man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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