Today's jokes [4.4.08]

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The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a 
ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. 
"What would you like to do next?" he asked. "I wanna be weighed," she
said. So the young man took her over to the weight guessed. "One-twelve," 
said the man at the scale, and he was absolutely right. Next they rode the 
roller coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and cotton candy, 
then he asked what else she would like to do. "I wanna be weighed," she 
said. I really latched onto a square one tonight, thought the young man, 
and using the excuse he had developed a headache, he took the girl home. 
The girl's mother was surprised to see her home so early, and asked, 
"What's wrong, dear, didn't you have a nice time tonight?" "Wousy," said 
the girl.

Q: Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London?
A: They were REALLY pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.

What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his
girlfriend at Oxford?

I did not have textual relations with that woman.

Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to 
collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale. 
"No, Johnny! Stop! That's horrible! You can't eat worms!" Trying to 
convince him further, "Now the mother worm is looking all over for her 
nice baby-worm."
"No, she isn't," said Johnny. "Why not?" "Because I ate her first!" 

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. 
Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. When he arrives home, he tells
his wife about the purchase he's just made.
"Olympic condoms?" she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"There are three colors," he explains, "gold, silver and bronze."
"So what color are you gonna wear tonight?" she asks with a grin.
"Gold of course," says the proud man.
The wife responds, "Why don't you wear silver -- it would be nice
if you came second for a change!"

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