Today's jokes [4.18.08]

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An eminent teacher and thinker once expressed his philosophy of life 
succinctly. "When it all boiled down to the essence of truth," the 
philosopher said, "one just live by a dog’s rule of life: If you can’t eat 
it or fuck it, piss on it!!!"

Dictionary of Musical Terms



JAZZ        :  Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes.
BLUES       :  Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning.
WORLD MUSIC :  A dozen different types of percussion all going at once.
OPERA       :  People singing when they should be talking.
RAP         :  People talking when they should be singing.
CLASSICAL   :  Discover the other 45 minutes they left out of the TV ad.
FOLK        :  Endless songs about shipwrecks in the 19th century.
BIG BAND    :  20 men who take it in turns to stand up plus a drummer.
HEAVY METAL :  Codpiece and chaps
HOUSE MUSIC :  OK as long as it's not the house next door.

Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? 

A: It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing

Drunk walks into elevator, no elevator there, falls five stories down, 
lands on the bottom. Lies there a few seconds, slowly opens his eyes,
and then says, ``Dammit, I said UP.''  

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than
to improving their minds? 

Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

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