Today's stories [3.3.08]

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   One morning following a tiff, I put my pants on too roughly & ripped
   the seam along the fly. I glared at my wife and said "I'll wear these
   today so everyone in the Office will know what I have to put up with."
   
   She said, "No, I'll repair them. I don't want them to know what I have
   to put up with."

The editors at "Playboy" have selected Marilyn Monroe for first 
place in its "The 100 Sexiest Women of the Century" feature. 
For organizational purposes, the list is divided into "Chicks 
Who Slept WIth A Kennedy" and "Chicks Who Didn't Sleep 
With A Kennedy."

I was on a Southwest flight once that was delayed at the gate 
after everyone boarded.   The flight attendant said over the 
intercom, "We're sorry for the delay.  The machine that normally 
rips the handles off your luggage is broken, so we're having to 
do it by hand.   We should be finished and on our way shortly."

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