Today's stories [3.26.08]

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   So you think you're computer-illiterate?
   Check out the following excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article by
   Jim Carlton --
   Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press
   Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key
   is. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard
   to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the
   plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
   Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that
   the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes.
   After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the
   problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then
   rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
   Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
   diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along
   with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
   A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back
   in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold
   on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the
   room to close the door to his room.
   Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to
   fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician
   discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in
   front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
   Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell
   tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of
   friends,"the customer replied. When told Egghead was a software store,
   the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of
   geeks."
   Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
   longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and
   water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys
   and washing them individually.
   A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
   because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The
   tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
   shouldn't be taken personally.
   An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her
   new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged
   in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
   button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and
   nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's
   mouse.
   Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new
   computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in,
   and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When
   asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What
   power switch?"

Important Press Release: 

The manufacturers of KY Jelly have announced that their product is now 
fully Year-2000 compliant. In the light of this they have now renamed it 
as: "Y2KY Jelly". 
Said a spokesman: "The main benefit of this revision to our product, is 
that you can now insert four digits into your date instead of two."

Texas Survivor

Contestants have to drive from Amarillo to Tyler
with a bumper sticker that says "I'm a gay atheist
vegetarian...and I'm here to take your guns." 

...If anybody gets there, they win.

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