Today's stories [3.22.08] Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.
Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife's incessant nagging by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an elaborate harness to make it look as if he had hanged himself. When his wife came home and saw him she fainted. Hearing a disturbance a neighbor came over and, finding what she thought were two corpses, seized the opportunity to loot the place. As she was leaving the room, her arms laden, the outraged and suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the backside. This so surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a heart attack. Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he and his wife were reconciled.
PORTLAND, OR - A man was admitted to an emergency clinic with severe bruising and lacerations on his penis and testicles, caused in an accident involving a hand held vacuum cleaner. The man had been vacuuming, wearing only a bathrobe, when he tripped, having been distracted because his robe fell open. "It always does that," he said. "I keep meaning to rig up some kind of tie for it, but I never do. I guess I'll get around to it now." He fell on the vacuum and the small beater bar of the device caused enough damage to require fifteen stitches and an overnight stay at the clinic.
When the judge called the case of People vs. Steven Lewon Crook. The bailiff opened the door to the holding cell and called, "Crook, come forward." Five of the prisoners entered the courtroom.
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