Today's stories [3.1.08] Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight" came from.
Microsoft Corp announced that they would purchase the source the PenPoint operating system for the value of one of Bill Gates eye-lashes (est. value $1.3 million). Gates was quoted as saying "we are only doing what the consumer has asked us to do: ship huge, bloated, bug-ridden programs while using every trick in the book to kill our competitors. As an example of our progress, consider Windows CE which paints the screen slower on a 75 MHz MIPS RISC processor than the 16 MHz 68000 in the Palm Pilot, while sucking the batteries dry in a tenth the time."
TIME WARPED I had gathered my first-grade class around me to teach them to tell time using a conventional-style analog clock. We'll be learning about the hour hand and the minute hand, I explained. One of my students interrupted and said, "I don't need to learn on that kind of clock. My dad bought me this digital watch, and right now it's 10 minutes to 38." Susan K. Toth in Reader's Digest
By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31