Today's poems [3.30.08]

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Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky
   We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
   Since you look such a mess,
   use the hem of your dress
   And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.


  

A farmer I know named O'Doole
Has a long and incredible tool.
He can use it to plow,
Or to diddle a cow,
Or just as a cue-stick at pool. 

Cleopatra while helping to pump
Ground out such a furious bump,
That Antony's dick
Snapped off like a stick
And left him to pump with a stump. 

There once was an apple-cheeked runt 
            Who was welcomed with joy at the Front. 
                This God's gift to he-men 
                Prevented spilled semen, 
            For his ass was tattooed like a cunt. 

There was a young man named M'Gurk
Who dozed off one night after work.
He had a wet dream,
But awoke with a scream
Just in time to give it a jerk. 

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