Today's poems [3.23.08]

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There was a young man, name of Snyder, 
            Who took out a girl just to ride her. 
                She allowed him to feel 
                From her neck to her heel, 
            But never would let him inside her. 

There was an old man of Madrid 
            Who went to an auction to bid. 
                In the first lot they sold 
                Was an ancient commode--- 
            And, my God, when they lifted the lid! 

                    A geneticist living in Delft
                            
                    Scientifically played with himself,
                            And when he was done
                            He labeled it: Son,
                            
                    And filed it away on the shelf.
                            

A young girl who was no good at tennis
But at swimming was really a menace
Took pains to explain,
"It depends how to train;
I was a streetwalker in Venice."

               Meet Elmer, young son of the Thorpes, 
               Afflicted with psychotic warps. 
                    His idea of fun 
                    Is to bugger a nun, 
               And then vomit all over the corpse. 

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