Today's poems [3.18.08]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

There was a young harlot named Schwartz
Whose cock-pit was studded with warts,
        And they tickled so nice
        She drew a high price
From the studs at the summer resorts.

Her pimp, a young fellow named Biddle,
Was seldom hard up for a diddle,
        For according to rumor
        His tool had a tumor
And a fine row of warts down the middle.

There was a young fellow named Rummy
Who delighted in whipping his dummy.
He played pocket pool
With his happy old tool
Till his shorts and his pants were all cummy 

                    The Shah of the Empire of Persia
                            
                    Lay for days in a sexual merger.
                            When the nautch asked the Shah,
                            "Won't you ever withdraw?"
                            
                    He replied with a yawn, "It's inertia."
                            

Said a Palestine pilgrim named Wadham, 
               "For religion I don't give a Goddem! 
                    I've frequently peed in 
                    The Garden of Eden, 
               And buggered my guide when in Sodom." 

Part 5 of 12
   
                    He was great in the Christmas Cantata,
                            
                    He could double-stop fart the Toccata,
                            He'd boom from his ass
                            Bach's B-Minor Mass,
                            
                    And in counterpoint, La Traviata.
                            

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   March '08 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31