Today's poems [3.13.08]

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There is a professor named Martin 
                                        From whom I'm about to be partin', 
                                                      And on my way out, 
                                                      He may here me shout, 
                                        "It's your face I'd sure like to fart in." 

A Dutchman who dwelt in Dundee
Walked into a grocer's named Lee.
He said "If you blease,
Haff you any prick cheese?"
Said the grocer, "I'll skin back and see."

A contortionist hailing from Lynch 
            Used to rent out his tool by the inch. 
                A foot cost a quid--- 
                He could and he did 
            Stretch it to three in a pinch. 

There is a young lass of Valencia
For whom sex is a form of dementia.
For the first hour she's quiet
Then she builds to a riot
With a noise that grows quickly intensia. 

There was a young man named O'Rourke,
Heard babies were brought by the stork,
    So he went to the zoo
    And attempted to screw
One old bird -- end-result: didn't work.

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