Today's jokes [3.5.08]

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Q. Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many 
men?

A. No phone numbers. 

       Age         FAVORITE FANTASY

        17         tall, dark and handsome
        25         tall, dark and handsome with money
        35         tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
        48         a man with hair
        66         a man

So there were two guys on a roof, pounding nails. One guy pounded a nail 
in, then picked up another. He was holding the nail upside down. He 
unexpectedly threw the nail away. He picked up another nail, right side up 
this time, and pounded this in. He eventually threw so many upside down 
nails away, that his friend came over. "Eh, what you doing? How come 
you're throwing away all those nails?" he asked. "Because they're upside 
down," the friend replied. The other guy looks at the friend, then, after 
some thought, says, "You Idiot, save them for the ceiling!"

Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen?

That's the proper place to wash vegetables.

Easter is approaching. Father O'Maley checks estimates for the flower
decoration of the altar.
The catholic florist - $ 300. "Too expensive" moans the priest.
The protestant florist - $ 250, "No, it would not be right to buy at
another Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather 
small." But lo! Solly Goldberg - $ 75!!!
Religion or economics? After much consideration, Solly obtains the
contract.
On Easter Sunday morning, Goldberg's men deliver the flowers: wonderful
roses, azaleas, camellias, tulips and carnations. O'Maley's last 
reservations are discarded.
When the parishioners arrive in the church, they see the magnificent
flower arrangement and a ribbon with the inscription:
"Jesus has risen! But the prices of Goldberg always stay the same."

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