Today's jokes [3.14.08]

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Have you heard about the new Mechanical Whore?

    -She gives a licking and keeps on ticking. 

"Darling," she whispered after they had finished making love, 
"Will you still make love like that to me after we're married ?"

He considered this for a moment, and then replied, "I think so. 
I've always been especially fond of married women."

Why is it so hard for women to find kind, sweet,
sensitive men in this world?

Because they already have boyfriends!

No lawyers allowed- Prosecutors will be violated!

 If two lawyers were drowning, and you could only save one of
them, would you read the paper or go to lunch?

Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own 
defense. "You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" 

The client replied that he did. The lawyer then asked, "Do you know what 
will happen if you don't tell the truth?" 

The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win." 

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