Today's jokes [3.10.08] Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
Why don't cannibals eat comedians? They taste funny.
UNIVERSAL GRADE CHANGE FORM ____________________University To: Professor____________________ From:___________________________ I think my grade in your course,___________________, should be changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons: ______1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did. ______2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did. ______3. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get into: ______Medical School ______Graduate School ______Dental School ______My Fraternity/Sorority ______The Mickey Mouse Club ______Tri County Tech ______4. I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in _______________. ______5. I'll lose my scholarship. ______6. I'm on a varsity sports team and my tutor couldn't find a copy of your exam. ______7. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the materisal asked for on the exam. ______8. I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every little fact. ______9. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams asked about general principles. _____10. You are prejudiced against: ______Males ______Jews ______Blacks ______Females ______Catholics ______Whites ______Protestants ______Moslems ______Minorities ______Chicanos ______People ______Students _____11. If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or at least cut my allowance. _____12. I was unable to do well in this course because of the following illness: ______mono ______broken baby finger ______acute alcoholism ______pregnancy ______VD ______fatherhood _____13. You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly how you wanted that done. _____14. I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull. _____15. I don't have a reason; I just want a higher grade. _____16. The lectures were: ______too detailed to pick out important points ______not explained in sufficient detail ______too boring ______all jokes and not enough material ______all of the above _____17. This course was: ______too early, I was not awake. ______at lunchtime, I was hungry ______too late, I was tired _____18. My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my (book, notes, paper) for this course. _____19. Other___________________________________________________
What's the difference between Christopher Reeves and OJ Simpson? Christopher Reeves got the electric chair!....and O.J walked!
You may have heard that a New Zealand man had a hand transplant. Guess what? His penis rejected it!
What would you do if you had a condum with a hole in it in one pocket, and a rattle snake in the other pocket? I don't know either, but I do know that I wouldn't screw with either one of them.
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