Today's jokes [3.1.08]

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In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young
woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight
leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and
jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get
on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow
her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver
she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking
that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again
she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she
still couldn't! So, a little more embarrassed she once again
reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for
a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her
chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.
So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped
the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was
unable to make the step.
About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line
picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on
the step of the bus. 
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero
screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even
know who you are!" 

At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am normally I would agree
with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda
figured that we was friends." 

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father,
I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know
how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. 
"They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some
fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you
are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know,
I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots
whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in
the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots
to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying
that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman
responded, "this may very well be the solution." 

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's
house. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots were
inside their cage, hold their rosary beads and praying. 
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. 
After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out
in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some
fun?"

There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked
over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away,
Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

This guy walks in to a bathroom. There is a hole in the wall, and a sign
that says "put your dick in here, we'll do what your wife does for you". So
the guy puts his dick in there, and they sew a button on it. 

Night. A sleeping couple is lying in a bed. Door bell rings. A couple 
wakes up.
Woman: "Quick! My husband is back!"
Man jumps out from a window. Flying down he starts to think: "Shit! But I 
am the husband!"

Sent by Ser

What happens when a lawyer takes viagra?
He gets taller!!

Sent by Bill

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