Today's stories [2.12.08]

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Bachelor Blake had a telephone problem last summer. Some dude who
works a night shift apparently has a phone number almost identical to
Blake's.
Starting around midnight, he'd phone every hour and say, "Hey,
what're you doing there, Mister? Where's my wife?"
Blake'd reply, "You have the wrong number."
The man would snarl suspiciously, "Yeah, I'll bet!" cuss a short streak,
and hang up.
Blake put up with this abuse for exactly three nights. On the fourth
night, when the called and asked, "Hey, what're you doing...," Blake 
interrupted in a frantic screech, "For Pete's sake, call the cops! My wife 
followed me here, she's chasing your wife with an axe, and she's gonna... 
HONEY, DON'T...ARGGGGH!"
The man hollered, "What happened? What? Are you there? Hold on, I'll send 
the police!" The phone clicked, the dial tone came on, and Blake hasn't 
been bothered by night calls since.

Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and 
be willing to get hands dirty.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross 
and salary.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general 
housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station,
dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk
sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the
person who sold it to him be arrested immediately. 

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