Today's poems [2.26.08]

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To the tune of 'Yesterday':

Leprocy, bits and pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Oh I contracted Leprocy.

A girl who is bespectacled
She may not get her necktacled;
But safety pins and bassinets
Await the girl who fassinets.
   
                       --Ogden Nash

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
But this one doesn't

An efficient young fellow named Dave
Said, "Think of the time that I save
By avoiding vacations,
And sexy relations,
And taking a crap while I shave." 

               An innocent boy in Lapland 
               Was told that friggin' was grand. 
                    But at his first trial 
                    He said with a smile, 
               "I've had the same feeling by hand." 

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