Today's poems [2.20.08]

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There was a young lady whose thighs,
When spread showed a slit of such size,
And so deep and so wide,
You could play cards inside---
Much to her bridegroom's surprise.

Nymphomaniacal Alice 
               Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. 
                    They found her vagina 
                    In North Carolina, 
               And her asshole in Buckingham Palace. 

There was a young lady of Arden,
The tool of whose swain wouldn't harden.
Said she with a frown,
"I've been sadly let down
By the tool of a fool in a garden."

                    There was an old harlot of Wick
                            
                    Who was sucking a coal-heaver's prick.
                            She said, "I don't mind
                            The coal dust and grime,
                            
                    But the smell of your balls makes me sick."
                            

There once was a woman from Wheeling
Who had a funny feeling
So she laid on her back
And tickled her crack,
And peed all over the ceiling! 

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