Today's poems [2.15.08] Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.
The sexual life of the camel Is weirder than anyone thinks. One night in an orgy of passion It tried to bugger the sphinx. But the sphinx's posterior passage Was blocked by the sands of the Nile Which accounts for the hump on the camel And the sphinx's inscrutable smile.
There was an announcer named Herschel Whose habits became controversial, Because when out wooing Whatever he was doing At ten he'd insert his commercial.
The Rajah of Afghanistan Imported a Birmingham can, Which he set as a throne On a great Buddha stone--- But he crapped out-of-doors like a man.
Something -- by Beatles --------- Something in the way it fails, Defies the algorithm's logic! Something in the way it coredumps... I don't want to leave it now I'll fix this problem somehow Somewhere in the memory I know, A pointer's got to be corrupted. Stepping in the debugger will show me... I don't want to leave it now I'm too close to leave it now You're asking me can this code go? I don't know, I don't know... What sequence causes it to blow? I don't know, I don't know... Something in the initializing code? And all I have to do is think of it! Something in the listing will show me... I don't want to leave it now I'll fix this tonight I vow!
Ode to a Mammogram For years and years they told me, "Be careful of your breasts." Don't ever squeeze or bruise them, and give them monthly tests. So, I heeded all their warnings.....and protected them by law.... Guarded them very carefully, and always wore a bra. After 10 years of careful care, the doctor found a lump. He ordered up a mammogram to look inside that clump. "Stand up very close," the nurse said, as she got my tit in line, "And tell me when it hurts," she said. "Ah, yes....that's just fine." She stepped upon a pedal....I could not believe my eyes, A plastic plate was pressing down....My boob was in a vice.... My skin was stretched and stretched from way up by my chin, And my poor tit was being squashed to Swedish pancake thing...... Excruciating pain I felt, within it's vice-like grip, A prisoner in this vicious thing.....My poor defenseless tit...... "Take a deep breath" she said to me. Who does she think she's kidding? My chest is smashed in her machine, I can't breathe and woozy I am getting! "There, that was good" I heard her say, as the room was slowly swaying. "Now let's get the other one."........"Lord have mercy," I was praying. It squeezed me from the up and down, it squeezed me from both sides, I'll bet she never has this done to HER tender little hide. If I had no problem when I first came in, I surely have one now...... If there had been a cyst in there, it would have popped Ker-Pow! This machine was made by a MAN, of this I have no doubt..... I'd like to get his balls in there.....for months he'd go WITHOUT!
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