Today's jokes [2.5.08]

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A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his 
father's house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out
a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking, they heard
a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl's 
feet.
"What's this," she asked.
"Taste it," he replied, "If you like it, I'll give you a whole one!" 

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below 
sea level.  He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he 
had on no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 feet, but the guy joined him a 
few minutes later. The diver went below 25 feet, but minutes 
later, the same guy joined him. This confused the diver, so he 
took out a waterproof chalkboard set, and wrote, "How the heck 
are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had 
written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

What did the blind man say when he was handed a cheese grater? 

     - "Thats the most violent book I've ever read." 

A young Army 1st Lt. is in the bathroom (head) releaving 
himself at the urinal, when a young boy walks in.  The boy, 
seeing the young Lt.'s green uniform asks him if he was in the 
Army.  The Lt. smiles and say's, "Why yes I am...you wanna 
wear my hat?"  The boy nods and the hat is placed on his head.  
As the boy admired himself in the mirror, the bathroom door 
slammed open and an old Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt walked in.  
He was decked out in his Dress Blue Uniform, with medals down 
his chest.  The boy, seeing the uniform asked him, "Hey, are 
you a Marine?"  The Gunnery Sgt peared down at the boy and 
responded, "That's right!  Why?  Do wanna suck me off?"  The 
boy replied nervously, "I-I-I'm not in the Army!!  I'm just 
wearing his hat!!"

Sent by Brian

A woman visits her physician. After waiting for a while it's finally her 
turn. She enters the doctors' office and sits down. The PhD asks her: 
"Well, what can I do for you madam?".
The patient blushes and the PhD sees that apparently she is embarrassed so 
he says: "You can discuss any matter with me, everything is strictly 
confidential."
So the patient says: "My husband complains that my pussy smells bad, is 
there a cure for this?"
"Sure", the doctor says, "It can be a fungus, or a little infection, 
nothing unusual, please undress and lay down, so I can examine you and
prescribe a treatment."
The woman undresses, gets up the bed and with her legs spread waits until 
the doctor attends her. He comes in, walks towards here, starts gasping 
for air, covers his mouth and nose with a hand and runs out of the office. 
After a minute or so, he enters again, covering his mouth and nose with 
one hand an a 7 feet wooden stick with an iron hook on it in the other 
hand.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh, what will you do to me?" shouts the patient.
"Nothing", says the doctor, "I'm just going to open the roof window a 
little."

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