Today's jokes [2.4.08]

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Question: What is the most popular pick up 
          line in a gay bar? 

Answer: Can I push your stool in?

Father Goose Story No. 2



        When the powerful king found his throne missing the next
day, he  ordered HIS army to kidnap the other king's count and force
him to tell where the throne was being hid. The session went as
follows:

king:   Where is the throne?
count:  I cannot tell you.
king:   Then I will have you killed!  Executioner, cut off his
        head!
count:  (as the axe is swinging down...)
        Ok!  I will tell you!
                        THWACK!!!

Moral: don't hatchet your counts before they chicken.

Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a
building on fire.  A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her
pet cat in her arms.

"Hey, lady," yells Larry, "Throw me the cat."

"No," she cries, "It's too far."

"I play football, I can catch him."

The smoke is pouring from the windows, and finally, the woman waves to
Larry, kisses her cat goodbye, and tosses it down to the street.

Larry keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him.
The feline bounces off an awning and Larry runs into the street to catch
it.  He jumps six feet into the air and makes a spectacular one handed
catch.  The crowd that has gathered to watch the fire breaks into
cheers.

Larry does a little dance, lifts the cat above his head, wiggles his
knees back and forth, then spikes the cat into the pavement.

Monica Lewinsky's tell-all book about her affair with the U.S. President
has, for one Winnipeg Chapters outlet, not sold all that well after its
first day on the shelves, as reported by CBC Radio News.

To draw attention to the book, or to perhaps add some perspective, the
Lewinksy book had three other titles surrounding it on its display:

"Divorce for Dummies"
"100 Ways to Leave Your Lover"
"How to Remove Stains"

Who makes more money a drug dealer or a hooker?

A hooker because she can wash her crack and reuse it.

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