Today's jokes [2.24.08]

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Two goldfish are in a tank when one turns to the other and says  "Do you 
know how to drive this thing?"

A cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great 
Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the 
terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate 
keeper, "Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Texas."

"The gatekeeper replied, "First of all, I'm not Saint Peter and 
second, you really don't know where you are at all, do you ?"

Creative Sighing for Effect. Sigh loudly when there are
many people around, giving the impression that you are
very hard pressed.

On their wedding night the husband was so self - conscious 
about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he 
snapped off the light. Once he was in bed, he unzipped his 
pants and handed his member to his bride.

"That's thoughtful, darling," she cooed, "but we'll need the light 
if you want to write thank-you notes ."

The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious complaint.
"Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive."
"Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head."
"Thats what I mean, you've got to lower it a little." 

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