Today's jokes [2.12.08]

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This guy's in the rear of a full elevator and he shouts, "Ballroom
please." A lady standing in front of him turns around and says, 
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."

After the party, as the couple was driving home, the woman asks her
husband,
"Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to
women you are?"
The flattered husband said, "No, dear they haven't."
The wife yells, "Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party
tonight?"

The blind daters had really hit it off and, at the end of the evening
as they were beginning to undress each other in his apartment, the
fellow said, "Before we go any further, Charlene, tell me - do you
have any special fetishes that I should take into account in bed?"
"As a matter of fact," smiled the girl, "I do happen to have a foot
fetish - but I suppose I'd settle for maybe seven or eight inches."

Academy of Mudgeology



Some selections from our catalog: Course number/Title/(Days/Time)

MUS147  HOW TO HUM: LECTURE AND LAB (MW 10:00-10:50)
HIS024  U.S. HISTORY SINCE ABOUT AN HOUR AGO (TH 12:00-1:15)
GEO222  COUNTRIES THAT ARE ORANGE ON MAPS (MWF 2:00-2:50)
ENG537  SURVEY IN ENG LIT: SIR FRANCIS BACON AND LORD HENRY SAUSAGE
        (MWF 9:00-11:15)
POLS834 U.S. DOMESTIC POLICY: IF FROGS COULD VOTE (TH 1:30-2:45)
ANT248  AMISH PARTY GAMES (W 6:00-8:15)
FR106   ELEMENTARY FRENCH TOAST (MW 8:00-8:50)
COM193  TOPICS FROM "GREEN ACRES": LIFE AND TIMES OF MR. HANEY
        (TU 7:00-9:15)
HIS456  THE HISTORY OF SOUP (TH 9:30-10:45)
CHE546  THE SCIENCE OF PLAY-DOH (MWF 10:00-10:50)
PHI101  THE RAMBLINGS OF DEAD, DRUNKEN PHILOSOPHERS
        (MWF 9:00-9:50)
ARC555  ARCHITECTURE OF THE BRADY BUNCH HOME
        (WTBS 4:35-5:05)
MOO108  THE BOVINE ERA, PART IV: COW HISTORY SINCE 1784
        (TH 5:30-7:15)
ENG327  SHAKESPEAREAN MEMOS, MENUS, AND GROCERY LISTS
        (TH 11:00-12:15)
ANT764  NOMADIC TRIBES OF SUB-SAHARAN AFRICA THAT ARE REALLY JUST LOST
        (MW 3:00-3:50)
MATH001 COMPREHENSIVE STUDY OF THE NUMBER SEVEN
        (TH 9:30-10:45)
POLS497 POLITICAL PARTY ETHICS (M 1:00-1:05)
ARC123  DESIGNING MODERN CITIES USING LEGOS (MWF 2:00-2:50)
MATH198 MATHEMATICS SO HARD THAT NO ONE CAN DO IT (W 6:00-8:30)
COM253  UNDERSTANDING THE PLOT TWISTS IN "MELROSE PLACE"
        (MTWTFSS 9:00-4:15)
A-S546  TOPICS IN MODERN ART: USING A LIVER AS A PAINT BRUSH
        (TH 3:00-4:15)
HPR314  BEGINNING YAHTZEE (MWF 1:00-1:50)
ENG893  THE ROMANTIC PROSE OF BARNEY FIFE (MWF 9:00-9:50)
PHY276  HYPNOTIZING YOUR PETS (TH 2:00-3:15)
TEL115  MUNSTERS/ADDAMS FAMILY: A COMPARISON STUDY
        (M 7:00-9:15)
ENG690  STOOGE CRITICISM: THE SHEMP YEARS  (MWF 10:00-10:50)

Thanks to stampo (genie.com)

Tombstone Epitaph In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

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