Today's jokes [2.1.08]

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Jill, a love-starved spinster, was so desperate that she went to
a local newspaper office and inquired about putting an advertisement
in the 'Lonely Hearts' column.
"Well, madam," the assistant said, "we charge a minimum of $1 per 
insertion."
"You don't say," said the spinster "Well then, here's $20 and to hell
with the advertisement!"

   The Young Man's Big Mouth
   A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says
   the condoms
   come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
   "Well," he said, "I've
   been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the
   condoms because I think
   tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then
   we're going out. And
   I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me,
   she'll want me all the
   time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his
   purchaseand leaves.
   Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her
   parents. He asks if he
   might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but
   continues praying for
   several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that
   you were such a
   religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me
   that your father is a
   pharmacist."
   

A girl gets a tatoo of Santa Claus on one thigh
and a turkey on the other. She wants to show that
there is something good to eat in between
Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

What's the definition of bravery?

A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!

What does a lesbian think the string on the end of a tampoon is for? 

     For flossing after eating. 

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