Today's stories [12.8.08]

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A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
   carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
   "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F _ _ _-UP!" For a moment,
   everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely
   lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because
   he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired
   before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In
   memory of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the wall engraved
   "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a fxxk-up!"


  

I'm sure you've all watched Titanic and watched poor Jack 
Dawson sink to his watery grave, well when he was frozen and 
Rose pushed him under, my idiot ex-boyfriend yelled, "Jack 
Frost!!"  

Sent by Christine

I woke up a little early the other day 
and decided to go take a shower. 
My wife woke up and said rather lustily, 
"Honey, are you in a hurry to get to work?"  
"No, not really." 
"Then will you scub the shower before 
you get in it?" 

Sent by Michael

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