Today's quotes [12.29.08]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

My mother didn't breast-feed me. She said she liked me as a friend.

                       ---Rodney Dangerfield

"Procrastinate Now!"

"If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all."

                                             -- Rodney Dangerfield  

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning 
to others.

If I was you I would have sex with me

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Funny Pic   December '08 Quotes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31