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Today's quotes [12.10.08]

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Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a 
plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across
that floor. I told him he was grounded.

                 -Tim Allen


Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband
forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't
admit he'd forgotten the code.....he turned himself in.

                 -Rita Rudner


If you can't beat them...arrange to have them beaten.
                 -George Carlin


After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And
she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

                 -Gary Shandling


Lieberman's law:
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody


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