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Today's poems [12.9.08]

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An old maiden who barely did kissing,
Soon discovered what she had been missing.
When laid down on the sod,
She cried out, "Oh, God!
All these years I just used it for pissing!" 

1. 




There was an old maid from Bruton 
               Who had the bad habit of pootin'. 
                    Her sphincter was weak, 
                    Her wind she couldn't keep--- 
               This tootin' old spinster from Bruton. 

2. 




A young Ph.D. passing by, 
               She gave him the problem to try. 
                    He worked the division 
                    With perfect precision, 
               And the answer was B-A-B-Y. 

3. 




                    There was a young girl named Maxine
                            
                    Whose vagina was wondrously clean:
                            With her uterus packed
                            She kept safe from attack
                            
                    With a dill pickle, papulous, green.
                            


4. 




An agreeable girl named Miss Doves
Likes to jack off the young men she loves.
     She will use her bare fist
     If the fellows insist
But she really prefers to wear gloves.

5. 



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