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Today's poems [12.8.08]

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You've heard the tale of Robin Hood,
And how he did poor people good,
There is more to this Famous story,
Of Sherwood Forest's Pride and Joy
At night when all robbing was done,
The merry men would have some fun,
In fact it would be fair to say,
The Merry men were rather gay.
As Little John starts to unwind,
Robin takes his from behind,
As they frolic in the grass,
Robin rams it up his arse.
One night when they were all at play,
A gorgeous maiden came their way,
She saunter up to Friar Tuck,
And Said "I'm Marion, wanna Fuck?"
Friar couldn't believe his ears,
She is offering sex to all us queers."
While he recovered from his shock,
Robin presented her with his cock.
Marion's clothes were off in a flash,
The 3 merry men all had a bash.
For Marion this was sheer bliss.
As they filled her with ever orifice,
When all was done she gave wine,
"Thank You boys for the lovely time,
"But for your pleasure you must pay,
"I've got the pox, have a nice day."
"Now listen here, "said Friar Tuck.
"We don't really give a fuck,
"The laughs on you, you silly cow,
"We've got AIDS, so who's fucked now."


Pardon My French

The finest culture
  Comes from Frontz
And hoe-knee-swat-key

Sally learned
  To speak in French
She's now a dame
  And not a wench

Dick acquired
  That language fair
And now he's swayve
  And deb-an-err

Speaking French
  Will prove you're better
Show you've got a

Read in French
   And sack-ray-blue!
You're sure to find
  Your tom-pair-doo

Write in French
  And you'll be famous
Just like muss-your
  Albert Camus

You can bet
  Your dairy-air
Your French will prove
  Your salve-war-fare

He who is
  A true believer
Shows his Gallic

French cuisine
  Is all the rage
So drink Bored-O
  With soft from-age

Wear a little
  Black beret
And eat cross-ants
  With French calf-A

Then there's all
  That art you know
So speak bow-czar
  And art-new-foe

And what a joy
  To smoke Get-tans
While watching films
  That come from Cans

I guess it's not
  An easy job
To be a phony
  Stuck-up snob...

Such games in Frontz
  They also play
But there "c'est snob"
  To speak anglais!


A bather whose clothing was strewed
By breezes that left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along,
And, unless I am wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd.


There was a young lady of Kent
Who said that she knew what it meant
When men asked her to dine,
And served cocktails and wine;
She knew what it meant - but she went!


It was a dark and stormy night.

I went to pee and lights went out.

I struggled in there, and dripped about,

But hardly managed, and was all right

And didn't need that stinking light!

Sent by Ed


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