Today's poems [12.7.08]

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There was an aesthetic young miss 
            Who thought it the apex of bliss 
                To jazz herself silly 
                With the bud of a lily, 
            Then go to the garden to piss! 

There once was a man named Houdini,
Who spilled some Gin on his weenie.
Said his date, "How uncouth!".
So he poured on some Vermouth,
And slipped the young girl a martini!

Sent by NINA

Smoking reefer didn't cause him to fail, 
               And that Lewinsky affair is a tale. 
                    These two things they will name, 
                    When the defense makes its claim, 
               That neither Bill nor the girl did inhale. 

               A damsel who lives at the Springs 
               Had her maidenhead ripped into strings 
                    By a hideous Kurd, 
                    And now, she averred, 
               "When the wind blows through it, it sings." 

There was an old maid of Nantucket
Had an asshole as big as a bucket.
While bent over the oven
A-dreamin' of lovin',
Her goat siezed the moment to fuck it. 

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