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Today's poems [12.25.08]

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There was an old gent from Kentuck 
            Who boasted a filigreed schmuck, 
                But he put it away 
                For fear that one day 
            He might put it in and get stuck. 

1. 




               The Rajah of Afghanistan 
               Imported a Birmingham can, 
                    Which he set as a throne 
                    On a great Buddha stone--- 
               But he crapped out-of-doors like a man. 

2. 




Said a lesbian lady, "It's sad; 
               Of all of the girls that I've had, 
                    None gave me the thrill 
                    Of real rapture until 
               I learned how to be a tribade." 

3. 




There was an old man of Decatur, 
               Took out his red-hot pertater. 
                    He tried at her dent, 
                    But when his thing bent, 
               He got down on his knees and he ate 'er. 

4. 




               There was a young man from Jodhpur 
               Who found he could easily cure 
                    His dread diabetes 
                    By eating a fetus 
               Served up in a sauce of manure. 

5. 



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