Today's poems [12.21.08]

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There once was a geologist named Wassal, 
            Who one day found a colossal fossil. 
                He could tell by the bend, 
                And the knob at the end, 
            That it was the peter of Paul, the apostile. 

                    There was a young man named Cattell
                            
                    Who knew psychophysics so well,
                            That each time he shit
                            He'd stop, measure it---
                            
                    It's length, and it's breadth, and it's smell.
                            

There was a young man of St. Paul's 
            Possessed the most useless of balls. 
                Till at last, at The Strand, 
                He managed a stand, 
            And tossed himself off in the stalls. 

   Here I sit, I'm at a loss
   trying to shit out taco sauce.
   When it comes, I hope and pray,
   I don't blow my ass away.


  

I was desperate, I was weary
I prayed for holy guidance from above
I thought she came to lead me through the darkness
But then I felt a probing rubber glove...

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