Today's poems [12.11.08]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

There once was a bishop from Nottingham 
            Who stood on a bridge down in Birmingham. 
                He watched all the stunts 
                Of the cunts in the punts 
            And the tricks of the pricks that were fucking
            them. 

Said a girl from Staraya Russa,
Whom the war had made looser and looser,
"Yes, I'm wormin' a German,
A vermin named Hermann,
But his dink is a lollapalooza!"

There was a young fellow named Biddle
Whose girl had to teach him to fiddle.
She grabbed hold of his bow
And said, "If you want to know,
You can try parting my hair in the middle." 

There was an old sheik named Al Hassid 
Whose tool had become very placid. 
Before each injection 
To get an erection 
He had to immerse it in acid. 

                    I told her, "Your bank accounts knotted,
                            
                    You've spent so much more than alloted."
                            She said with a yawn,
                            "I'm not overdrawn,
                            
                    It's just simply an under-deposit!"

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   December '08 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31