Today's poems [12.1.08]

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A pathetic old maid of Bordeaux
Fell in love with a dashing young beau.
To entice his regard
She would squat in his yard
And appealingly piss in the snow. 

There was a young lady of Exeter, 
                                        So pretty, that men craned their necks at her. 
                                                      One was even so brave 
                                                      As to take out and wave 
                                        The distinguishing mark of his sex at her. 

Tombstone Epitaph:

Here lies a nun, she lived to the age of one hundred and ten
She gave to the worms what she refused to men

An unfortunate fellow named Chase 
Had an ass that was not quite in place, 
And he showed indignation 
When an investigation 
Showed that some people shit through their face, 

A shiftless young fellow of Kent 
               Had his wife fuck the landlord for rent. 
                    But as she grew older, 
                    The landlord grew colder, 
               And now they live out in a tent. 

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