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Today's jokes [12.9.08]

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In the midst of a veritable downpour, a gallant driver saw
a woman alone in the mud trying to change a flat tire, and
couldn't bear passing her by. He completed the job for her,
and, soaked to the skin, exclaimed jovially, "There, little
lady, that's done!" "Quiet," she ordered him. "You'll wake
up my husband. He's taking a nap in the back seat." 


"Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?"
she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes.
"I don't know, but I promise I'll never do it again."


A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of 
the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got 
a huge chunk of money; hired a few additional sociologists, anthropologist 
and a family planning and birth control specialist; moved to town; rented 
offices; set up their computers; got squared away; and began designing 
their questionnaires and such. While the staff was busy getting ready for 
their big research effort, the project director decided to go to the local 
drugstore for a cup of coffee. He sat down at the counter, ordered his 
coffee, and while he was drinking it, he told the druggist what his 
purpose was in town, then asked him if he had any idea why the birth rate 
was so high. "Sure," said the druggist. "Every morning the six o'clock 
train comes through here and blows for the crossing. It wakes everybody 
up, and, well, it's too late to go back to sleep, and it's too early to 
get up." 


As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, 
"And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a 
minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"


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