Today's jokes [12.7.08]

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HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES?
 

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
 
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What
the hell, they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
 
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party
atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this
country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
 
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus
saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could
charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the
tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'
 
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked
women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry
would see record revenues.
 
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden
opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
 
Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
 
Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

Q: How do you make a cat bark?
A: Soak the cat in gasoline and through a lighted match at him.
   WOOOFFFF

Q: What's the hardest thing about eating shaved pussy?
A: Putting the diaper back on.

A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day 
of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and 
a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to 
sweep out the store."

"But I'm a college graduate." the young man replied indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give 
me the broom, I'll show you how."

Two starving homeless men are walking down an empty street in a quiet town.
they spy a dead horse on the side of the road and run towards it. the first
man begins to eat the horse, but the second man refuses, saying only that he
will wait. after the first man has eaten his fill they continue on down the
road. eventually the first man gets sick from the horse meat and throws it
up. the second man pulls out a napkin from his pocket and exclaims as he
sits down: "now THIS is what i've been waiting for! a hot meal!"

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