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Today's jokes [12.25.08]

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Q. Why was the female blonde confused whilst going to the 
ladies toilet??

A. She had to pull her own pants down

Sent by sam

1. 




"Great, just what I need," she moaned as he brought
home a new microwave oven. "One more thing that heats
up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds." 

2. 




A young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old charges about 
sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything 
they wanted. At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the 
back of the class. 

She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, "oh miss, oh 
miss!" with his arm pumping.

"Yes, Johnny, what is it?" she asked, trying to remain calm. Little Johnny 
stood up and proclaimed to the class, "at our house, we have everything."

"Don't be silly," the teacher replied, "not even the richest man has 
everything."

"We do," he answered, "My daddy said so the other day."

"Now, why would your father say such a thing?" she asked.

"Well, my fifteen year old sister came home with her skinhead boyfriend, 
and told poppa she was pregnant. That's when my dad said "God, that's all 
we needed."

3. 




A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of 
hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with 
their pinkies and say "Hi there little boy!!"

One day the boy stops and asks one of the hookers why they always 
wave at him with their pinkies. They reply: "well, that is what size 
we imagine your penis to be... it is just a joke!"

The next day on his way home, the hookers repeat the tradition. The 
young boy stops and drops his school books on the ground, sticks all 
his fingers in his mouth to stretch his lips very wide and says, "HI 
THERE LADIES!

4. 




What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching like hell to get out of that box. 

5. 



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