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Today's jokes [12.24.08]

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If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no
one there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.


A guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turn
out to be Siamese twins, and they wind up back at his
He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the
other. He realizes that the first one might get bored
watching, so he her asks what she'd like to do. 
She says, "Is that a trombone in the corner? I'd love
to play your trombone." 
So she plays it while he screws her sister. 
A few weeks later, the girls are walking past the guy's
apartment building. One of the girls says, "Let's stop
up and see that guy." 
The other girl says, " you think he'd remember us?" 


Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. Suddenly
Clinton grabs Hillary by the
collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned
umpire shouted, "No, Mr. President!
I said, Throw the first PITCH!"


Sign of drinking problem...

You shout, "I'm not as think you drunk I am."

Sent by JC


This bloke was ordered from the pool for pissing in the water.
"That's ridiculous!" he shouted at the pool manager. "Everybody does it,
you know."
"That may be so," came the reply, "but usually not from the diving board."


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