Today's jokes [12.24.08]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.

If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no
one there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.

A guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turn
out to be Siamese twins, and they wind up back at his
apartment. 
He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the
other. He realizes that the first one might get bored
watching, so he her asks what she'd like to do. 
She says, "Is that a trombone in the corner? I'd love
to play your trombone." 
So she plays it while he screws her sister. 
A few weeks later, the girls are walking past the guy's
apartment building. One of the girls says, "Let's stop
up and see that guy." 
The other girl says, "Gee...do you think he'd remember us?" 

Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. Suddenly
Clinton grabs Hillary by the
collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned
umpire shouted, "No, Mr. President!
I said, Throw the first PITCH!"

Sign of drinking problem...

You shout, "I'm not as think you drunk I am."


Sent by JC

This bloke was ordered from the pool for pissing in the water.
"That's ridiculous!" he shouted at the pool manager. "Everybody does it,
you know."
"That may be so," came the reply, "but usually not from the diving board."

By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   December '08 Jokes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31