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Today's jokes [12.17.08]

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The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through one of the many
canyons when suddenly rising from the hill on their right are hundreds of
indians. They start to spur their horse forward when they realised that there
are hundreds of indians ahead of them.  Wheeling to the left they, once
again, see hundreds of indians rising from the hill.  They begin to back away
in the direction from which they had come and they realise, they were
surrounded.  The indians had spread out.  They were trapped.  

The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto, his life long friend, and says "Tonto,
my firend, I think I must say that I have treasured our times together
but now I think we are doomed".

" We?" replied Tonto "What's all this we, Paleface?"


What is green and eats nuts? 



Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis. One 
notices the other one is putting on pair of stockings and suspenders.
He says "When did you start wearing them?" To which the other man 
replies "Since my wife found a pair on the back seat of the car."


A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night.
He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive  
woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose.  He 
was very self concious about his eye but got up the nerve 
to ask her for a dance. 

"Would you like to dance with me?"he asked.

She replied "Would I!", and he sneered and told her,"BIG NOSE!" 


A blind guy goes into a whore house. A girl takes him upstairs and starts 
giving him a blowjob.
He says to her, "Excuse me, aren't you Karen Carlton, and didn't you go to 
Cardozo High School in Detroit?"
"Yes. How'd you know?"
"I never forget a face." 


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