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Today's jokes [12.16.08]

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Schwarzenegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn't have one,
The POPE has one but doesn't use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,
George Burns' was hot,
Liberace NEVER used his on women,
Jerry Seinfeld is very very proud of his,
We never saw Lucy use Desi's
what is it?






A last name....... Were you thinking of something else?

1. 




How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How many can you afford? 


2. 




A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa.  When he came back, his 
colleagues asked him how it had been.  "Oh, it was very disappointing,"
he said.  "I didn't kill a thing.  I'd have been better off staying here 
in the hospital."

3. 




Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street.
"Oy, Abraham, I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse". 
"Ssh!" hisses the other, "It's not till next week". 

4. 




A belligerent drunk walks into a bar and hollers:
"I can lick any man in the place!"
The nearest customer looks him up and down,
then says: "Crude, but direct. Tell me, is this your
first time in a gay bar?"

5. 



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