Today's stories [11.23.08]

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HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW?

We were doing the weekly ritual of trimming everyone's nails that needed
them today, and I saw that Kaitlyn's were pretty stubby because she
chews them quite often.  When I asked her if she had been chewing them,
she said "No, I don't know why they aren't growing.  I haven't been
watering them!"

Ginny DuPont 
ALPHA Mailing List 

This story occurred on Melbourne radio some time ago. One of the FM 
stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three 
personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three 
questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win an overseas 
holiday. Last week the competition went like this: 

Presenter: Hey its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game ? 
Brian:Yeah, sure. 
Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex? 
Brian: Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning. 
Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian ? 
Brian: Hmmmmm .... about 10 minutes. 
Presenter: 10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it? 
Brian: Ohhhh , I can't say that. 
Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian ! 
Brian: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table. 
Presenter: (and others in the room - much laughter).
Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife ? 
Brian: Yeah, alright. 

Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you ? 
Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks. 
Presenter: (Explains competition again)
We've got Brian on the other line, say hello. 
Sharelle: Hi Brian. 
Brian: Hi Sharelle. 
Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions 
we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to 
Bali. 
Brian: Just tell the truth Honey. 
Sharelle: O.K. 
Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex?
Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio.
Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them. 
Sharelle: O.K. ... About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work. 
Presenter: Good, nice start ! Next question. How long did it go for 
Sharelle?
Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes. 
Co-Presenter: That's close enough ... Brian was just being a gentleman. 
Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it?
Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no. 
Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here. 
Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway..
just tell em. 
Sharelle: Ohhhh .... alright .... Up the ass!

Radio Silence 

Ad.

A while back there was a "true" story (urban legend) about a guy
who was interrupted by the doorbell.

Upon opening the door he found some religious nuts who were very
annoying. As he was in the middle of preparing dinner, he'd gone
to the door with a very large knife in his hand.

At some point, he called out to his friends asking if they'd gotten
virgin ready for the sacrifice.  At this point, the callers fled
from the home, never to return again.

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