Today's stories [11.18.08]

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I had to go through a needle location biopsy recently.
This involves putting a 6 inch needle through a most sensitive
part of a woman's anatomy.  I had to sit there alone with
this thing pierced through my anatomy and I wondered, "Is
this how a whale feels?"  It occured to me, "I'm big, I'm 
white, I'm gay, and I have been harpooned!  That must make
me Moby Dyke!" My friends now call me "MD".

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached
to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

Recently I answered the phone and it was a sales person
from a long distance company. They asked for my late father
by name.
"I'm sorry," I answered, "but he's dead."
Their reply, "May I leave a number in case the situation
changes?" 

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