Today's quotes [11.11.08]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
 And East is East and West is West and if you take cranberries and stew
 them like applesauce they taste more like prunes than a rhubarb does.
 Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know."
                        -- Groucho Marx

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you
       think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? (1)
       Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. (2) Advising the President.
       (3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. -- David
       Letterman

"Hmmmmm.  Are domestic abusers _always_ thinking about dairy products?"
                        -- Lt. Wilkes

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous
       and give the wrong answers.

The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain,
       involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The
       hypothalamus controls the "Four F's":  fighting; fleeing;
       feeding; and mating. -- Psychology professor in
       neuropsychology intro course

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Funny Pic   November '08 Quotes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30