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Today's quotes [11.10.08]

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"Is that a near-death experience?"
"No that's a nipple..."
                        -- Damien Day, Sarah Brown


"Will administer ISO 9000 and year 2000 certification tests for food."
                        -- Simon Slavin


"Fuck 'em if they can't take a compliment."
"If you're going to be quoting Lao Tzu, then please at least give the guy
 proper citation."
                        -- Detective Sanchez, Lt. Wilkes


"Well, I made up for it big time the next night at another concert. Jill
 Sobule (of "I Kissed a Girl" fame) actually thanked me for being the maniac
 I am, people continue to be frightened of me, and I also triggered a "why-
 can't-you-be-in-shape-like-him" from a woman to her boyfriend. I may not
 have made a spectacle of myself at the Swans concert, but at least I
 destroyed a relationship.:-) ...  Wait a minute. That's not funny. I'm
 evil. *sob*"
                        -- Lt. Wilkes, discussing his form of "dancing"


Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex
       raises some pretty good questions. -- Woody Allen


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