Today's poems [11.8.08]

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There was a young couple named Kelly               
               Who had to live belly to belly, 
               Because once, in their haste, 
               They used library paste 
               Instead of petroleum jelly. 

There was a young lady of Arden, 
                                        Who s----d off a man in a garden. 
                                                      He said, "My dear Flo, 
                                                      Where does that stuff go?" 
                                        And she said, "(swallow hard)-- I beg pardon?" 
                                                                                                                                      1932 

There was a young man from Malacca
Who always slept on his left knacker.
One saturday night,
He slept on his right,
And his knacker went off like a cracker. 

            A cowhand way out in Seattle 
            Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle. 
                He said, "No, I can't fuck 
                A lamb or a duck, 
            But golly! it just fits the cattle." 

Should a fellow discover some night 
               A girl's body in bed, it's all right. 
                    He should think it good luck, 
                    And accept the free fuck--- 
               He will bugger her too, if he's bright. 

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