Today's poems [11.5.08]

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There was a young girl from Sofire.
               Who succumbed to her lover's desire. 
                    She said, "It's a sin, 
                    But now that it's in, 
               Could you shove it a few inches higher?" 

There was a young girl from Seattle 
            Who got her kicks sucking off cattle, 
                'til a bull from the South 
                Popped a load in her mouth 
            That made both her ovaries rattle. 

                    For the prick-naming prize of Pinole
                            
                    This year's winner was Daniel O'Dole.
                            He will tell you with bonhommie,
                            "I call mine 'Metonymy,'
                            
                    Because it's a part for the whole."
                            

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.

               An explorer whose habits were blunt 
               Once flavored some cannibal cunt. 
                    The asshole was shitty, 
                    And---more was the pity--- 
               It oozed from the rear to the front. 

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