Today's poems [11.5.08]
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There was a young girl from Sofire.
Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
She said, "It's a sin,
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?"
There was a young girl from Seattle
Who got her kicks sucking off cattle,
'til a bull from the South
Popped a load in her mouth
That made both her ovaries rattle.
For the prick-naming prize of Pinole
This year's winner was Daniel O'Dole.
He will tell you with bonhommie,
"I call mine 'Metonymy,'
Because it's a part for the whole."
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.
An explorer whose habits were blunt
Once flavored some cannibal cunt.
The asshole was shitty,
And---more was the pity---
It oozed from the rear to the front.
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